


What Could Be

by gray_autumn_sky



Series: Set in Storybrooke, Canon Divergent [15]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, tw: miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-13 18:41:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15370905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gray_autumn_sky/pseuds/gray_autumn_sky
Summary: Robin comforts Regina after she miscarries.





	1. Chapter 1

It’s unlike her to stay late at work without calling, and even more out of character for her to skip dinner. It’s become a bit of a nightly ritual that the four of them have dinner together. Sometimes Regina cooks, sometimes Robin cooks, and other times, the four of them prepare the meal together. On rare occasions, they go out—usually to Granny’s at the request of one of the boys; but nonetheless, they always have dinner together as a family.

The table is set and the oven is keeping dinner warm. Roland peers into the oven, watching as the cream sauce on the casserole bubbles, as Henry covers the salad. Robin watches them, his cell phone pressed to his ear as he listens her voice tell him that she’s unavailable and he can leave a message at the tone. He sighs and hangs up without leaving a message—he’s already left three.

“Uh, why don’t you two go ahead and eat,” Robin says.

“Did you talk to mom?”

“Yeah, is Regina coming home?”

Robin exhales and shakes his head, “No, she didn’t answer. She’s probably just…stuck in a meeting.” He offers a halfhearted smile. “We’ve all heard how those Town Hall meetings can go. People always find something to complain endlessly about.” Roland nods, but Henry’s eyebrows arch. He holds Henry’s gaze for a moment, hoping he’s able to mask the worry in his eyes. “I’m actually going to swing by City Hall to see if I can…figure out how much longer she’ll be.”

“Will you text me when you find her?” Henry asks, slowly pulling the cover from the salad bowl, still holding Robin’s gaze. “Just so I know she’s okay?”

“Of course,” Robin nods—he hopes she is.

__

When he arrives at City Hall, her secretary has already left for the day and her office is dark. He steps inside, looking around—her desk is neatly organized as it always is when she leaves for the day, but the jacket she wore that morning still hangs over the back of her chair. He hears a quiet hiccup and turns toward the sound, turning toward couch. Quickly, he pulls out his cell phone, sending the promised text to Henry.

She’s sitting on the floor, her back is pressed against the couch and her shoulders are slumped forward. She’s hugging her knees to her chest and her arms are wrapped tightly around herself as she trembles—his heart aches for her. He feels it swell in his chest as he crouches down beside her, gently touching his hand to her arm. She gasps at the unexpected touch, jerking away as she turns to face him. For an all too brief moment, she looks up at him with red eyes and tear stained cheeks; her entire face crumbles and she looks away. Suddenly, he can’t breathe.

She turns to him, falling against his chest and linking her arms around his shoulders. He can feel her warm tears through his shirt and he wraps his arms around her, holding her as close as possible, holding her as tightly as he can. He drops a kiss on the top her head, then her forehead, and then her cheek, all the while rubbing soothing circles on her back. He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t ask why she’s crying, he just holds her and lets her cry, knowing she’ll talk about it when she’s ready, but wishing there was something more that he could do to soothe her, to make it better, to take away her obvious pain.

He holds her until her tears subside and he can no longer hear her shaky, shallow breaths. He loosens his hold and peers down at her, smiling gently as their eyes meet.He leans in, pressing his lips to her forehead and his thumb brushes the last of her tears away from her cheeks. She looks up at him with sad eyes, unable to muster even the meekest of smiles before she settles her cheek against his shoulder. 

He feels her take a deep breath, slowly exhaling. “There wasn’t a heartbeat,” she says in a barely audible voice.

He feels his lung contract as he processes her words, gently pulling himself back so that he can look at her. “Regina, what…” He stops. There are a hundred questions swirling through his head, but he can’t find the words to ask even one of them.

“I didn’t know I was pregnant. I didn’t know I…even could be.” She shakes her head. “I didn’t know and then…and then I wasn’t and…” She looks at him, her eyes so full of pain, “How can you miss something you never even knew you had?”

His heart beat slows and he feels a knot forming in his stomach, constricting to the point that it’s a struggle to breathe.He feels her head rest against his shoulder and his head falls atop hers as he holds and feels warm tears welling in his eyes.

“It would have been terrible timing,” she murmurs. “Things are just…getting back to normal and there’s going to be a baby in our lives in just a couple of months and that’s going to change everything for us, but…for a half second I just thought that…”

“…that it could have been completely wonderful,” he supplies.

“Yeah…”

___

When they get home, it’s late—well past both boys’ bedtimes and both boys are asleep on the couch, a movie menu illuminated on the TV screen. Kissing Regina’s cheek, he walks to the family room as she starts up the stairs. He turns off the TV and covers both boys with a blanket, hovering a moment, thankful for their presence in their lives.

When he joins Regina in their bedroom, she’s already changed into her pajamas and is lying in bed and facing the middle. He changes silently before he slides into bed beside her and smiles wistfully as she cuddles into his side. He folds his arm around her, holding her in the silence. His mind is still reeling, still trying to process it all—it all seems so surreal, like a bad dream that they’ll wake from in the morning.

After awhile, he peers down at her, watching as her fingers drag slowly up and down his arm as she stares off into the emptiness. “What are you thinking of?” She pulls herself up and looks at him for a moment, waiting and hesitating. He can see her struggling against herself and he takes her hand, giving it a soft, comforting squeeze. “You can tell me anything.”

She looks down at his hand over hers and nods, “Would it be crazy to want another child?”

“No, it’s not crazy at all.” He grins as he reaches up and brushes the back of his fingers over her cheek, “Is there really much of a difference between three and four?”

“I…want to try again,” she tells him in a shaky voice.

“I’d like that, too,” he tells her as a small smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.

“What if…what if this was our only shot though?” She pauses, “What if this was it?”

He takes a short breath, “Well, we won’t know until we try.” He pauses as she nods, and lies back down against his chest. “And if it never happens, that’s okay, too.”

Peering down at her, he watches as a small, but genuine smile forms on her lips—the first he’s seen all day and an indication of her strength and resilience, assurance that no matter what their future holds, everything really will be okay.


	2. A Little Bit of Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After several miscarriages and deciding to stop trying for a baby, Regina finds out she’s pregnant.

Regina’s throat tightens as Robin’s hand folds around hers, giving it a soft squeeze as he draws in a breath.

To say it’s been a long and painful two years would be an understatement. It was a journey littered with more downs than ups, despite the hopeful note in which they’d started.

Pressing her eyes closed, she can feel the tears already forming–hot and stinging. She can easily remember the day it’d started, two years before when she’d been told of her first miscarriage. She can easily remember how her heart had ached over the loss of something she never knew she had–and she can still remember the way hope had slowly edged into her sadness at the realization of what could still be.

But hope hadn’t lasted long.

Four miscarriages had led them to the devastating realization that just because something was possible didn’t necessarily mean it was meant to be.

As hard as it was, they’d made peace with it. They had Henry and Roland, they had each other and they were happy with the life they’d built. And then, she’d found out, once again, that she was pregnant.

Robin had come into the bathroom, distracted and looking for Roland’s soccer cleats, and Regina had been leaning against the sink, her cheeks pale as she stared absently at the positive pregnancy test between her fingers. She’d hesitated before reaching out and grabbing his hand, making him notice. He’d let out a breath and pulled her to him–but it wasn’t a happy hug, but one wrought with worry.

“I’ve got a good feeling about this,” Robin says before dropping a kiss to the back of her hand. “We’re at the thirteenth week. We’ve never lasted this long.”

She nods–it’s true. Her first trimester has gone relatively smoothly, and each visit has reported a healthy baby growing inside of her. But still, each day she braces herself…

“It’ll just make it harder when the…”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s hard not to, given…”

Again, Robin kisses the back of her hand. “I know, love.”

He can’t say anymore before Dr. Whale enters, all smiles as he starts the ultrasound. Regina flinches as he spreads the gel and turns on the monitor–and when Robin’s hand tightens around hers, she mistakes its intent.

They still haven’t told anyone about this baby–not even the boys. It’s helped that she’s barely showing and she’s taken an interest in cardigans to hide what does. And momentarily, she’s glad–it’ll be easier not to have to explain.

“Regina, look,” Robin murmurs softly, “look at that little heart going.”

“What?”

“Do you want to hear it?” Whale asks, tugging at his stethoscope as her eyes slide to the tiny monitor at her side. “It’s strong.”

She nods as Whale slides it up over her ears–and her heart skips a beat when she first hears silence. But then Whale moves its stem and she hears the first hurried thump of the baby’s heartbeat, followed by an another and another and another.

This time, it’s her fingers that tighten around Robin’s hand as a slow smile edges across her lips as she listen and watches the baby’s heartbeat.

“I know you’ve been cautious,” Whale begins, “But now that you’ve officially crossed into the second trimester, the chances of miscarrying are significantly lower.”

“But possible…”

“Yes, but… less than 10% of miscarriages happen after the first trimester. So, I can tentatively say that I think you’re out of the woods.”

It takes a moment for that to register, and still she’s not quite sure she believes it.

“That’s excellent news,” Robin says. “So…everything looks as… as it should?”

“Yes,” Whale says with a nod. “You have a perfectly healthy baby–” His voice halts and a little grin curls onto his lips. “Do you want to know the sex?”

“I… I think I would,” Robin says as Regina nods, still captivated by the baby’s beating heart.

“Okay, then,” Whale says as he rises from the stool at Regina’s side. “I will give the two of you a moment with your son.”

She feels her breath catch in her chest, as her eyes slide to Robin–and she can’t help but smile when she finds him teary-eyed and grinning at her.

“Another boy,” she murmurs as he looks to her. “That’s good… I… I know what to do with a boy.”

Robin laughs softly and nods as he once again kisses the back of her hand, seemingly at a loss for words, and as his lips linger, she feels a little bit of hope seeping back inside of her.


End file.
